apa ni??

"how ill this taper burns! ha! who comes here?

i think it is the weakness of mine eyes

that shapes this monstrous apparition

art thou some god, some angel, or some devil,

that mak’st my blood cold and my hair to stare?

speak to me what thou art"

: Shakespeare’s Julius Ceasar Act IV, Scene III

??????????????????????????????????????????????????

wat is this??? aiyo.. wat does it means la??

well, as far as i get it is tht, something burns, n maybe asking who came n burn it? emm, then, he says, he think it’s the problem with his eyesight, tht caused him seeing things so like this.. n he’s wondering if tht’s god? angel? devil? n emm, tht causes his blood to be cold, n hair standing.. (as it says it stares..) n lastly asking it to speak to him to tell him who tht thing is..

hahahaha.. apa ni la??

blur….

well, this is LAW, this is law, when u study law.. dont ask y, it’s in my notes.. =,="

ps: i dont mean to offend anybody.. neither was i trying to make fun of these.. i’m not literature minded.. last time back in high school at least we got a handbook summarising them

exhausting..

revision is here, exam is near.. n revision seems like going on pretty fast.. though it’s juz started maybe like 2 weeks ago or so.. but feel’s like it’s end reall soon n DAMN IT exam is near when i’m still blur with everything n everything!!

it’s damn worrying like hell! i really hate it.. it’s seriously damn exhaustive too! really really exhausting … there’s sooo much to read up n to be committed into memory.. argh!!! at least last year, at this time, this moment, i would be at least having some facts on my mind.. but how come not now??

or maybe it was there, but i din actually test myself?? damn it!!

classes are like from morning til nite, continuously.. then, from afternoon til nite.. how am i expected to study after tht?? even my eyes cant really open.. n it’s watery.. n there comes my sinus again if i had not enough sleep!

i juz hate exam tensions! hate exams season!

i really want this to end soon! BUT, after it ends, then CRAP!! exam is here.. haizzz… wat m i to do???????

killer eyes

show off

just because you have some knowledge

just because you have some money

just because have the things tht others don’t

so u wanna show off??

well, BUZZ OFF!

wat’s the point of showing off??

wat’s the point of being so arrogant??

wat’s the point of speaking so loud??

wat’s the point of talking big??

RUBBISH!!

com’on… this is so kampung! it seriously proves n shows how kampung these ppl are! seriously they do! very typical.. they dont feel ashame of their attitude.. but i do feel ashamed on behalf of them..

well, y do i care? because it bothers me..

y does it bothers me?? well, because i care..

hmm?? bz body….. the thing is tht not about being bz body.. but it’s tht even though u avoid them.. those nuisance seems to keep coming around like flies coming around when u eating.. n mosquitoes flying near ur ear when u sleeping..

tell me.. who doesnt bother or care when it’s till these extent??

seriously, wat is so great about all these!?? it’s all an act of showing off, which i abhor totally n utterly! if i could, if they were mosquitoes n flies.. damn easy.. *PIAAAAKK* mampus! LOL

unfortunately, they are not.. too bad.. it’s their mouth, it’s the things tht run inside their mind, it’s eventually the things they wanna do

y? to satisfy them .. for? happiness of live.. as tht’s how they define their life..

unfortunately, i can’t stop it, as it’s not my mouth, not my mind, not my thought, not my kinda attitude to change it, to shut it..

therefore, all tht i can do.. is to SHUT MY EARS n EYES … n SING

200 years POLICE FORCE : They are worlds apart, says veteran

200 years police force: They are worlds apart, says veteran

26 Mar 2007

KUALA LUMPUR: There is a world of difference between the current police force and that of of pre-independence days.

Kamaruddin Mohd Isa, 72, who joined the force in 1952, said it was not the same in so many ways.

He said the image of policemen had changed over the years with a drop in the level of of pride in wearing a uniform.

"There is no doubt about it. I have seen much over these years and, sadly, I have to say I miss the good old days when policeman were respectable figures.

"Nowadays, where is the pride in wearing the uniform? You can see clearly how they cover up their uniform whenever they have a chance to do so during an outing.

"Many are not serious about doing the job they are entrusted with.

"They have been given the amanah (trust) to uphold law and order," said Kamaruddin when interviewed at Dataran Merdeka yesterday.

Kamaruddin, who served 32 years as a constable, was one of many veteran policemen who arrived early to join the parade to mark the 200th year police anniversary celebrations.

"In those days, I remember that whenever children playing in a drain saw a uniformed policeman cycling nearby, they would get so scared that they would jump out and run away.

"This is because, the policemen then were fierce. Policemen today have lost their teeth."

Today, he said, no one was scared of uniformed policemen as their image had changed over the years.

"Today, some black sheep among policemen are criminals themselves."

Kamaruddin, who took optional retirement in 1985 after 32 years in the force, remembers his first salary of $125.

"It was more than enough for me to raise a family, even with a deduction of $25 for housing and other amenities.

"But now, I pity policemen. How can you raise a family on a constable’s salary? It is not enough for even one person."

Kamaruddin’s last posting was the Triang police station in Pahang.

He was amused by models wearing police uniforms of yesteryear at the exhibition booth at Dataran Merdeka.

"See that guy, the one with the short khaki pants and songkok? That was my first uniform."

"I miss the policeman’s life, but then it is all in the past.

"I hope the current policemen with their shining uniforms will take the cue from our sacrifices and uphold the spirit of those days."

As for Kamaruddin, his joy was being able to walk with other veterans at the March 25 parade every year.

"I am looking forward to the new pension which the government recently announced for policemen."

source : NST

don’t u think so?? well, i do..

S ; wanna work hard now n earn money when young n pretty

A ; for wat?? to spend it when u’re old n ugly??

S ; YES!!! exactly!!

well, money is important, but then again, don’t u think so tht life is simply too short for us to think of growing old, n life is oso simply too artificial to think of future life..

24 hours a day, seems to be so short, n it feels like as if it has been occupied by alot of things, but how much out of the things we did were the things tht we really wanted to do after all?

everywhere i go, every person i met, everyday n nite, almost every hour, if not by second, but juz by minutes, all is talking about money, fighting because of money, dying because of money, happy because of money.. it’s juz all about money.. n i find in todays society, looks like money can seriously buy love.. hmm, u never noe.. things changed from day to day.. it’s evolving.. it’s getting scarier n more worrying…

basically, y worry?? juz live life from one day to another, if possible, occupy the times tht we had each day doing things we really wanted n happy about.. life is juz too short n too artificial to consider too much especially when money comes into the issue.. awww~~~ juz spend the much we could afford, spend the much tht we had, spend as much as we r happy about… BUT dont spend till bankrupt! keke… well, just kidding..

wat was i saying was tht, juz spend all tht u could afford, be contented..

hmm……….

*blink*blink*

*blink*

it’s always a *blink* tht got me stop doing bad things tht i used to do all the years,

n it’s always a *blink* tht got me start doing good things tht i dont usually do,

a *blink* again makes me like things i dont, n another *blink* makes me hates the things i used to like

a *blink* which makes a lot things in the world seems alot different…

wedding

i attended wedding yesterday.. a church wedding.. i actually had a class at tht time the wedding was on.. but luckily, i decided to skip class n go for the wedding.. at first was juz thinking of going there juz to meet my fren.. eventually it’s her sis wedding, n not hers yet.. but i believe hor… it’s soon.. hehehehhe.. don get mad if u saw this ok! hehehe

well, i’ve been to a church wedding once very very very long time ago back then, but i kinda forgot how it went n all.. but more or less juz like the ones we watch on tv.. btw, i’m a buddhist, so most of the wedding i attended from young til now n even for my own sis is oso those typical chinese traditional type.. it’s pretty boring.. n the sad part was tht i don really get to contribute anything as i was young tht time n so bodoh.. lol.. dressing up like going to pasar like tht.. i cant believe im doing tht.. anyways, it’s not so surprising, as can b seen from my dressing even at these days.. lol

anyways.. i love the c wedding.. i was kinda cool n calm b4 going yday, n went so early, even b4 the church open with another fren of mine.. the sot sot fren.. kekeke.. we were hanging out, chatting, even went to mamak nearby to eat first… until a little bit, we heard "honk" "honk" "honk" …. wahhhhh.. damn, i got so excited.. lol.. as if im the one getting marry.. my sot sot fren, said i’m so sot.. lol, in fact, we both oso sot.. lol, but i was more sot than her at tht particular moment.. seriously, i love tht very second where the bride n groom in their car decorated nicely coming from far.. keep "honk-ing"… in fact,  tht is one of the moment which i love the most in a whole wedding process! is all about the feeling inside, seeing them coming in the car, like a pair of happy doves.. deeply in love with no worries, like fairy-tale… especially them being the bride n groom with the smile, the natural smile they put on their face… so sweeeeeet… awww… but i barely c it… cos was kinda far from the car.. lol

and oh! forgot one most important thing, haha, my sot sot fren n i was feeling pretty awkward as we were not really dressing up like the way we should.. hmm.. hehe, nah, we were pretty casual, whereas most of the guests were kinda formal n oso smart casual.. in fact, i feel my top if ok la.. abit smart casual… i admit, my interpretation of most things in life, is pretty different from others.. i don feel im so casual.. at least presentable in a wedding.. (..hopefully.. but got ppl said my top looks like pyjamas.. OMG! it’s a gift from my K’s fren from topshop leh!) lol

anyways.. so my sot sot fren decided tht we shall hide in some corner.. lol instead of going into the church.. lol, until our fren, pretty one walked out of the wedding car.. (wat do we call it anyway?) nvm..

then she guide n lead us into the church.. lol…

wow.. i seriously dunno how to express my feelings of seeing how beautiful tht bride was.. to me, she is seriously damn sweet… almost every minute, i told my frens with me tht the bride is so pretty, so pretty… so sweeeeet! she looked so kind n sweet.. n as my fren said.. for a gal, the most prettiest moment in their lives would b on their wedding day! hmm, yeah! it is! but as far as i concern, even on other days, the bride was oso nothing less..

church wedding, i dunno, perhaps, i’m kinda bored with chinese typical wedding, i feel church wedding is pretty romantic, n it’s more soothing if compared to chinese typical wedding.. (no offence) the words the MC used, the things they said, esp the vows the happily married couple vowed.. aiyo… it’s juz so beautiful..walking down the aisle, led by cute little page boy n flower gals, which i think they have no idea where they leading to.. haha.. n then 2 beautiful bridesmaids.. (..ehem.. keke)… im so touched.. but unfortunately, havent start consider about my own one.. lol, i kept thinking attending more n more n more other ppl’s wedding.. gosh! is it a bad sign??

my sot sot frens.. plus another one who came late.. cos cannot wake up.. lol… n now they start to plan their wedding… ahhaha.. n the most sot one.. she said.. she gonna get marry today.. but she’s now in kampung.. i wonder how was the wedding was like?? summore she said she gonna marry herself.. lol

well u noe sth… i tot this was crazy.. guess wat, i had never actually tot or even plan my wedding.. where most gals had oredy done so.. but.. i did tot n planned about sth b4 plan my own wedding.. lol..i eventually oredy thinking of how my 50th wedding anniversary would be like.. LOL….

n the funniest thing is tht, there’s stil no THE right one yet, not even an ideal candidate.. =,="’ LOL

i believe tht these few days, my mind will still be dominated by the wedding i attended yday… i seriously, saw a really happy couple getting attached, building homes together, making their both dreams to become one.. keeping their vows together, forever n always..

i want to wish them again here, congratulations! n wishing the newlyweds a life of love n togetherness… being 2 hearts as 1!

will i find a way??

lots n lots n lots of things happening.. things tht cant be really seen.. n cant be really feel, but u noe it’s going on… perhaps it’s the intuition..

there’s always an answer to every question.. as there’s always a way out.. there’s always a solution to every problem.. but will there a way out for me??

perhaps there is.. n is just tht i don even wanna think about it, dont even wanna take it into consideration.. but y?? obviously, there’s a reason for everything.. i believe, because i donwan a change.. i hate changes in fact… huge changes especially to things i’ve adapted so well in the past…

sounds serious, isnt it?? well, it is, perhaps, at least, to me, it is..

in fact, there’s always sth hidden behind the smile, behind a laughter.. which noone can actually sees it, none can believes it, none can understands it..

i juz hate thinking about it, hate going thru it… n juz hate it all my life! i hate it being part of my life.. but in fact, i grew up in it… n i grew up with it.. n i grew up, learning lessons of life from it..

after so long.. there juz seem to be no way out.. will i find a way someday??