recovering…

well, to those who eventually showed his concern, thanks!

i’m actually in the process in recovering.. tho still there’s pain n bumps n grazes… in fact, im being very very negative using words like "die" or "alive".. but not til the extend i would kill myself.. moreover, actions speak louder than words.. it’s juz words of expressing how terrible tht wound is.. (…duh~~ =,=")

falling down from a bike doesnt imply tht im being "ganas" anyways.. but i would say it’s more like im being very clumsy.. well, most reasonable person would actually think so n classified me as being clumsy instead of being "ganas" lol.. to me, i’m only "ganas" if the bike im riding on lost its wheels, or i broke off the hook or watever on it. in fact, i broke nothing, but i juz hurt myself..

after resting for like one whole day, yes, thank God, i’m Still "alive"..

today, my dad actually wants me to wake up early in the morning to go pray pray to God.. hehehe.. to keep harm n evils aways from me.. as there seems to b a lot of "siu yan" (backstabbers/bad ppl) around me, n even not around me too..

ouch ouch ouch! pain pain pain!!!

bad bad boar year.. hmmph!

i tot a brand new year, everything oso brand new, in the positive meaning, but however.. it was not so positive at all!!

first day of cny, i got stuck in the lift, after 12 yrs ago, for the first time i got stuck..

now, the fourth day of cny, damn! i fell down from the bicycle, when cycling on the slope.. crap!! i was damn painful n hurting now.. im now still wondering would i be still alive tmr??

hmm, eventually, i fell from the bike, due to the the break, it wasnt not working.. but my hand not working too well, (could be too tired d) im not good in sports, tts y my body size explains it all, n oso my health could explain it all..

when i reach the stop point, i guess was too excited to reach d, so i kinda like wanna reach abit faster (imagine, im oredy on the slope going downhill, was pretty sloppy..) so i break n expected it to stop immediately when i press the break.. in fact, it did.. hahahaha.. it stop on the stop.. very effective.. until i became so unbalanced n fell down.. in front of me, was a fren of mine on the bike, on my left hand side, was another 2 or 3 bikes there, as they were resting there..

damn.. so i eventually stopped n tumbled n fall! gosH!i was like sleeping on the bikes… hahahaha.. the only part of my body i feel aching at tht moment, was my knees, i had grazes.. then my frens was cleaning it up for me, so they asked me wherelse?

so i looked behind to my left, i saw my new cny clothes, first time wearing, got one big hole.. GOSH! i opened it up.. the wound was even much more seriuos thn tht one on my kness, but i don feel the pain.. =S hmmm.. they asked me not to look.. so i suppose tht it was pretty bad.. anyways, i looked n was like.  "ok"

i saw those stains, the petrol kinda thingy sticking ony my shirt, n oso on my body, around the wound.. wow… damn black in color, damn dirty.. so my frens helped me to clean it..

(thank God we had 2 in becoming nurses there, tho not expert, still, they noe bits of the first aid thingy.. tho they dont have first aid kit with them, so guys, rmb to bring next time k, esp knowing tht we r going to do things like this.. it is definitely foreseable tht a person like me (clumsy) will do some "stunts" lol

apart from tht, the moment i fell down, i felt my head knock on the bike as well.. i was pretty worried actually… now i feel abit painful.. i hope no side effects.. hmmm… i hope it juz minor bumps n nothing more.. (in fact, i read my orally declared will to my trustees…hmmm, which i think hardly valid n enforceable) i dont k!

n now, my wounds are sooooo much swollen n blue black… ouchhh!!! damn, my eyes oso paining, i wonder could it b an effect of the knock on the head.. it hurts, all the wounds.. oucch!!

wat a bad bad bad beginning of the year..

when i told my mom abt tht, she was damn shocked n worried.. haih~~ thts wat i hate.. i dunwanna make them worry… so i seldom go out, n so coward to try out new things.. but still, wat is meant to happen, will happen.. my dad showing his care, by scolding.. as usual.. hahaha… im glad he scold, if he din, i shd be starting to worry, as he no longer cares about my death or anything..  (so ppl, pls don blame/scold/feel ur parents so noisy when they nag n grumble at u, appreciate it.. they scold means they care!)

well, tho i fell, i hope it din ruin my brain sumhow n in someway.. cos, i was laughing n laughing when i recall of my falling down incident.. hahaha.. even when my frens held me up from the fall, i sat n was laughing at myself.. damn!

i juz cant stop laughing about it.. feeling so dummy of me.. aiyo! so big buffalo, ride a bike oso duno how to ride properly… in fact i noe how to ride a bike when i was pretty young n small tiny little gal, but i stopped riding like for more than 10 yrs d.. n this is the first time of me riding it back again.. summore not on the flat road.. but in the jungle, where’s there’s lots of slopes n mountain to climb! crap! in fact, if i noe BKT cahaya/bkt ceraka was a jungle, i might have object to go there.. i really pantang with jungle.. lol…

n oso, the moral of the story, whtr u believe or not.. don simply say things in the jungle.. something or God will punish u!

hmm, earlier we went to some tower, to see to scenery, so when coming down, i din realized tht i cut my hand.. so i was like wiping then i feel the pain.. then i saw blood coming out.. it was juz a very minor thingy.. then i said " hmm, this year OX will meet with accidents, n there wil be bloodshed, looks like i’ve got mine, so i won b getting any.." wow! rite after tht i fell n more blood coming out.. even til now, the blood is stil coming out… this is juz the superstitious way thinking n saying.. but in fact, at times, this is not juz being superstitious.. as at times, not even everything can be proven scientifically..

u will only believe it when it happens to u.. u might think it’s a coincident, but.. u never.. coincidence never happens all the time..

Oooooooooooucccccccccccch!!!

i hope i will still be alive… feeling like having fever la now… =S

first day of CNY

wat a brand new year… hahaha

early in the morning, i went eating in an aunty’s house.. after done, we wanna start going to visit our other relatives, we got STUCK in the lift!!!!

arrggh!! damn "sueh" on the first day of CNY!

my mom was so scared n worry… damn! n i was oso pretty shocked.. but i have to defnitely cool down n calm down, n not to say anything bad other than keeping my mom calm n cool down..

then my dad called the 24 hrs lift repair man.. aiyo.. damn stupid la, those ppl, we r stucked in the lift.. they asked us wat is the lift no.. how r we supposed to noe??? we r inside the lift, n yet the no is outside the lift, summore is only noted on the ground floor..

for such long time they din come.. cos most of the times, those repair man will stand by in places very near to the blocks.. but unfortunately.. they were not tt day, perhas is the first day of CNY!

thank God the fan in the lift is working.. only tht we smell sth fusing.. pretty scary.. n we got stuck from the 3rd floor, n the lift is like going to drop/fell.. =S

all tht im worry is tht the light in it will shut off itself, or the cable will break or things like tht… ahahaha, like in dramas..

we keep pressing the alarm, n there’s actually very kind ppl from the outside, helped us to call the repair man. We din wanna call the bomba cos they will break the lift, wherelse the repair man will open up the lift with the keys.. so we waited, n i cannot tahan.. pretty scary inside, esp looking at my mom… she was damn pale.. hahahahahahaha… summore i worry, i called again the repair man, n scolded them…

finally, someone came n help, not the repair man, but some residents there.. they noe how to open the lift cos they used to it d, as the lift always break down from days to days… =S

anyways, this was not the first time i got stuck.. previously was worse i suppose, but then, tht time, the lift was still new, n now.. hmm more than 10 yrs later.. the lift is so so so damn old d.. so it’s pretty scary la.. n back then, n when we manage to open up the lift door, guess wat… our lift was half way from the top n the bottom, is like, we were in the middle of the doors.. n Thank God he dont have to climb up instead, we only have to jump down.. haha.. if only u understands wat i mean… this tim, the door open, it’s not in the middle of anything.. (the partition in between floors)

crap! but then again, it wasnt tt long we got stucked in tht lift.. summore my dad was there.. it was less than 20 mins.. it’s the pressure n worriness makes me feel like its so long… LOL

giving up?

at times, when tt thing isnt meant for u.. no matter wat u do, or how u do, u will still won get it.. shall i juz say tht it’s basically my fate, to end up this way??

can i change my fate somehow?? am i able to so?? i’m not asking to go so far anyway, but.. juz somehow to get there.. juz the first step.. to know tt i manage to get to the first step!

but looks like it’s juz too hard n tough… when it’s not meant for u, it’ll never meant for u anyhow…

would i consider myself giving up here?

hmm……

NO WAY! i’ll fight for it.. not only juz to get to the first step but to a steo further!!!!

basically, is the matter of the right time.. i suppose tht i shall do the right things at the right time..